The Upcoming Year

Until a few decades ago, attendance at chapel was mandatory for all cadets at West Point. The Jewish cadets and officers used to meet in chapels for other denominations, or other buildings around the post. The Jewish Chapel was completed in the early 1980s, after chapel was no longer mandatory, but still highly encouraged. It provided a sanctuary unrivalled at West Point. The food alone was sufficient to encourage participation from beyond “The Tribe.”
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Latency

(To the tune of Yesterday, With apologies to all four Beatles and most sys admins)

Latency
It’s the signature of HPC
that is why it’s running endlessly
your process gates on Latency

This one, well
is embarrassingly parallel
that is why its running fast as hell
the render farm works just as well

Why’s it running slow
don’t you know the bottleneck
demands for some commands
will dictate your architect ect ecture

Here’s the scoop
This one’s nothing more than data soup
that you’re running through an endless loop
You probably should try Hadoop

(This might be the only one I tag as both Lyrics and Networking)

Home on LeGrange

(To the tune of “Home on the Range” in case you hadn’t guessed)

Oh give me a place
Up in near outer space
Where a rocket will surely convey
A space station to sit
In a stable orbit
One that will never decay

Home, Home on LeGrange
At the junction of gravity’s range
A space station can sit
In a stable orbit
One that will never decay

Sysadmin’s Req

(If you can’t guess the tune, get off my lawn!)

Are you posting a Sys Admin’s Req
telnet, CUPS, Sendmail,  and BIND
Consider her I worked with  at DEC
She once was an admin of mine

Have her crimp me a crossover cable
telnet, CUPS, Sendmail,  and BIND
Bridging hub and subnet unstable
And then she’ll be an admin of mine

Have her build me a server of web
telnet, CUPS, Sendmail,  and BIND
Without virtualized overhead
And then she’ll be an admin of mine

Have her craft me a Kerberos Key
telnet, CUPS, Sendmail,  and BIND
But not based on code writ at MIT
And then she’ll be an  Admin of mine

Have her write me a recovery plan
telnet, CUPS, Sendmail,  and BIND
With servers unconnected to SAN
And then she’ll be an  admin of mine

Spaghetti

To the Tune of “We’re Ready” by Boston.
Lyrics by Me, idea by Cousin Chris,

Spaghetti galore
Its filling up the void inside you
We’ll make up some more
The garlic bread will have to tide you
You’ll be cleaning the sauce off your clothing tonight
And you know that your pants will be feeling too tight
It builds cellulite
SPAGHETTI!

Gluttony
Who needs a reason
This pasta is great, what is the season–
-ing I feel like I’ve never have tasted before
Don’t worry about what you dropped on the floor
I’m ready for more
I’m ready for more
SPAGHETTI!
With bolognaise

Spaghetti now
Spaghetti for me to chow down
Steady now
Our kitchen will need a hose down
You’ll be cleaning the sauce off your clothing tonight
And you know that your pants will be feeling too tight
It builds cellulite
SPAGHETTI!

Lexington Green

When summoned by the horseman’s cry
from breaking fast and tending barns
The Yeoman farmers trained response
was to secure their ready arms

The nineteenth dawn that April bore
revealed a revolutionary scene
Captain Parker’s men had met
to learn the news on Lexington Green

But red clad soldiers marched all night
From landing ships on Cambridge shore
And through Lexington they’d pass
En route to capture Concord’s Store

Lieutenant William Sutherland
Called to the men across the sward
Commanding them “Disperse Ye Rebels
Ye Villains, most unruly mob.”

Outnumbered, Captain Parker’s men
were ordered to disperse once more
But chaos and uncertainty
lay beneath the fog of war

Who fired first? the tales suggest
Perhaps a sniper off the scene
but British shot and bayonets
Killed nine men on Lexington Green

Lieutenant Colonel Francis Smith
Arriving with three companies
Ordered drumbeats for the march
To Concord’s Bridge and history

In Concord town the Minutemen
Had learned of Lexington’s Melee
On Punkatasset over-watched
As Redcoats made their first foray

Searching houses, barns and fields
for weapons cached and powder kegs
but long since moved and all they found
were milk and barely, ham and eggs

When searching soldiers caught the site
Of mounds fresh piled in the fields
And ready spades we turned to dig
And three great cannon were revealed

But as they searched, the Minutemen
From Acton, Bedford, and Westford
Joined the Lincoln men above
The Concord rivers northern shore

A Regiment of militiamen
descended  Punkatasset Ridge
assaulted Captain Parson’s Force
assigned to guard the Northern Bridge

The Regulars formed to volley fire
As if for warfare in the town
A warning shot rang out and then
the musket balls were raining down

They fled their post and headed south
to form with Regiments complete
and leaving off their fruitless search
the British Colonel called retreat

The local men who took the bridge
Had learned to shoot when they were Boys
Some had marched to Montreal
To fight the French and Iroquois

At Meriam’s Corner, and Brooks Hill
The local muskets took their toll
and passing through the ambuscade
at Bloody Angle Thirty  fell

At last they came back to the field
where shot had shattered dawn serene
And Parker had then his revenge
Upon the sward of Lexington Green

Swamped

Tyrone you are an artist of the ultimate degree
Your work I say if the truth be told
Is awesome, terrible a marvel to behold
Unfortunately I haven’t even one half hour free

So much to do but yet so little time
trying to plan all of the festivities
the country of Florin’s anniversary
Ensuring the wedding will just be devine
I can’t do everything I want
I’m Swamped

In the parade all the nobles will march
and if Duke follows baron the unrest will spread
And all these decisions will fall on my head
Which villain to hang from the victory arch
Everybody has something they want
I’m Swamped

Then theres the seating inside of the church
Ensuring we have the right food for the feast
Who will get Salmon or Chicken or Beef
None of the Nobles can be left in the lurch

Seating my Uncle Near my Aunt
I’m swamped

Rugen:
It certainly is hard waiting to be king
If I might be so bold as to suggest
set aside some time to get sufficient rest
If your’ve not your health you don’t have anything

You look just a little gaunt
You’re swamped